Bitter
by deeplyshallow
Summary: Five years after the end of Breaking Dawn, Seth is getting married while Leah still hasn't imprinted - she is feeling more of an outcast than ever. Oneshot


Dedicated to my amazing friend, Inkhandedlady, who is absolutely wonderful. If it wasn't for her constant brilliant ideas and endless (but necessary) nagging I doubt I would ever get a story completed. Not only does she beta read for me but she is an amazing writer – I don't think I know anyone else who would write Wicked stories without reading the book or seeing to musical just because I asked her to. So seeing as she wrote a Wicked fic for me I thought I'd come over to the Twilight section and write a Twilight fic for her. So if you haven't already guessed Inkhandedlady, my crazy friend, this is written completely for you.

**Disclaimer: If I were Stephenie Meyer I probably wouldn't have made Leah's story so depressing in the first place – actually knowing me I would have probably made it worse.**

_You are invited to the wedding of Seth Clearwater and Holly Diamond_

I finally give into the urge to tear the invite in half. It's not fair, even my baby brother has imprinted on someone, he will spend the rest of his practically eternal life in lovey-dovey happiness. And whom does that leave? Me, always me. It's been five years since I left Sam's pack and I am an outcast again.

To start off with life as Jake's beta wasn't bad – I mean after we stopped being the Cullen's lapdogs – finally I had the bliss of not hearing about Sam and Emily every living moment. Even when Jake never stopped thinking about the vampire spawn, I had my brother Seth who was alright, sometimes, and Jake's mate's Quil and Embry were always quick to tease him about the vampire child.

The summer ended and I went off to college. I hoped to start a new life where no one knew me, to be able to be seen, not as a shrew, as I had in La Push for years, but as a young woman, one of a crowd. I wanted to make friends with girls my age, to be asked to dance by boys, to kiss, to fall in love… But that never happened – sure I made friends – not as many as I hoped, I was never quite able to shake off my long developed bitchyness, but they were a nice group of people all the same. I got asked to dance by boys as well, when I put some effort in I can actually look quite pretty, I even got the occasional kiss and date.

But I didn't fall in love, I wanted to but it never happened, I couldn't get Sam out of my mind. Somehow after all he did to me, after all the hurt he caused me, despite the fact he had practically ruined my life, I still loved him and I still do.

I look idly out of the train window; in twenty-four hours I will be preparing to witness another one of 'true love's weddings'. I am starting to lose count of how many of these I've been to; Sam and Emily's, Jared and Kim's, Paul and Rachel's, Embry and Rosie's, now Seth and Holly's – I envy her, all of them greatly.

Holly's a nice enough girl; she went on holiday to Forks a couple of years ago. One glance at Seth and she came back every summer and Christmas. Seth took a job just so he could raise the money to visit her more often. Maybe I should start hanging around airports just to see if I'll imprint on any or the tourists, not that there's really any chance of that happening, no man is going to help an infertile woman to produce strong children.

As the years passed I spent more time in college and less with the pack. I told them that I just wanted to get on with my normal life; I don't know why I bothered it's not like they didn't all know I was lying. The truth was it was just too painful to share minds with them. A year or so after Jake imprinted Embry did as well. Rosie was a new girl at the school on the reservation, I don't think she knew what hit her, one day at school and she had a werewolf as a boyfriend. Then a couple of years later Seth imprinted and I was an outsider in the pack once again, the only one who hadn't imprinted. I may not have had Sam wishing me gone anymore but with the rest of the pack's minds filled with love and happiness it was just as hard to bear

Life is so simple for them, they have their true loves, they can be happy with them forever. Life is so sappy and perfect for them I feel sick. Life is not so simple for me as I once again am left out; a freak among humans, some people started to comment on the fact I never grew up, and a freak among werewolves, the odd girly wolf, even my wolf form is smaller and more pathetic than the others.

The bitterness came again and my friends, humans and werewolves, started to distance themselves from me. I didn't care – or I tried to act like I didn't – I spent more time away from them, I completed my college course and lived off the money Dad left me. I tried to cut out communication, to be alone, but of course I couldn't completely avoid them; every time I got angry I would transform and there they were. They were all much more sympathetic than they ever were in Sam's pack but that just made it worse, I didn't want their sympathy. I wanted their happiness, a happiness that I hadn't had since Sam left me. A happiness that, after all I had gone through, I surely deserved; just a little.

So when the wedding invite came through my door, I nearly binned it straight away. I relented though because Seth _was_ my baby brother and I would not spoil his happiness even if I had none in my own life.

So here I am, on the train, ready to see my baby brother on the happiest day of his life. I look up and curse; I've missed my stop. I get off the train at the next stop to catch one back, but as I step on the platform I feel a sudden urge to visit the little shop next to it. Once I enter the shop I don't know why I've come I don't feel like eating and I don't need a newspaper to read. Apart from me there are only two people in the shop, the shopkeeper and a young man, after buying a coke the man turns and our eyes meet. It feels like I am glowing.


End file.
